(PCM) You may remember model Courtney Robertson as the woman who won Ben Flajnik’s season of “The Bachelor” and was ultimately labeled the biggest villain in “The Bachelor” history, however with the release of her New York Times best-selling book “I Didn’t Come Here To Make Friends” she finally has the opportunity to share her side of the story.
After her season of “The Bachelor” aired Robertson was skewered in the media without really getting much opportunity to defend herself or her “actions” during the season. Her book shares a ton of insight into what truly goes on behind-the-scenes of one of America’s favorite guilty pleasure reality shows and reveals an intimate look into her life and mindset throughout the entire ordeal.
I recently had a chance to catch up with Robertson to chat about the book, her thoughts on the current season of “The Bachelor”, upcoming projects and so much more!
The book was an absolutely delicious read and I was absolutely thrilled to finally learn more about Robertson’s side of the story. I asked her about how therapeutic the writing process was with finally being to share her side of the ordeal. Robertson responded “Thank you! It was honestly very, very therapeutic. It was very cathartic. I had good days and bad days while writing it because it’s like you are reliving the past every day. When I go through break-up’s it’s like out of sight/out of mind and I put everything in a box.With the book, I really had to take a hard look at myself and everything that wasn’t resolved.”
I revealed to Robertson that I speak with a lot of artists on the site and they have mentioned for example, when they write a song and they are in a certain mind frame, performing can be like reliving that moment time and time again. I am sure that bringing up a lot of memories for Robertson to put together the book was pretty hurtful at times.
She tells me “Yeah, it definitely was. I remember there were one or two days when I was working with my friend on it and I was like ‘I’m just going to call it a day’ because the material was getting heavy and I was like ‘I can’t wait to get this all done’. Even reading it again, it is such a long process to write a book … reading it cover to cover was like going through it and wanting to be happy with every word and every page and it is reliving it again.”
When “I Didn’t Come Here To Make Friends” was released it made it to the top of the New York Times best-sellers list, so I was curious to know if Robertson was surprised by the reaction to her book. She tells me ” You know, I was a little surprised. Obviously, I was hopeful for that, so when I got the news I was just ecstatic. It was just a painful journey and process so for me it was the most positive thing to come from the whole experience.”
When asked if there was anything she was surprised to learn about herself during her time on “The Bachelor” or during the process of writing the book, Robertson reveals “Oh, yes definitely. When I went on the show I was 28 and now I am 31 and I think with writing the book I really learned a lot about myself and patterns and relationships and break-ups, so especially in that sense. Looking back, if I did the show again I would do it totally differently, but that’s not how life works”, she says with a laugh.
I mentioned to Robertson that her and I are around the same age and I could never imagine having a lot of the personal details of my life out in the public domain, so I imagine that has to be very difficult for her. She comments ” Yes, definitely it was hard. I went on the show and I really didn’t think it through and I didn’t picture that negativity would come from it. People had a certain idea about me and that is why I really wanted to write my book. I didn’t even do interviews after my season finished airing, so people really didn’t get to see me unedited. Writing the book really helped with that!
It was hard and I still deal with it, I mean, I’ll be out in public and mostly everyone is so nice but occasionally you’ll see someone staring at you hatefully, and not everyone is going to like you.” Laughingly she adds, “Sometimes I just want to be like ‘Sorry’!’ It’s all positive now so that feels really good”.
When discussing what is probably the most misunderstood thing about her, Robertson says “You know when I was joking and saying “winning” on the show all the time, I didn’t feel like it was a competition and I wanted to “win” this person, I actually really was falling for him and I kind of made some bad jokes. It wasn’t about winning the show. I had never really watched full seasons of the show, but I think if I would have I would have been more careful in the interviews.”
In Robertson’s defense “Winning” was definitely the catch-phrase at the time when actor Charlie Sheen was having his infamous meltdowns. She adds “Yeah, it was right after all that Sheen stuff came out, so it wasn’t about “winning” Ben. I was really ready for marriage and thought that he could be the one and we fell for each other so there were real feelings involved.”
When discussing the current season of “The Bachelor” which is airing now, Robertson says “There are a lot of sob stories this season. Especially with that girl Kelsey and the dead husband story. These girls are just going straight for it and the one thing I would say is just watch the alcohol intake. I always tell people that, I mean the days are so long, you are filming pretty much all day and sometimes you don’t have time to eat. Then there is alcohol and that can be a little bit of liquid courage, so you definitely want to make sure you are eating before you drink.”
Robertson goes on to say “When I watched my season for the first time when I wrote the book, there’s a couple of interviews where I’m like ‘opps, Courtney, you look a little tipsy’! I think with this season they are all pretty good girls and he has a really good selection. It is getting to the point now where you can see the stand-out contestants.”
I told Robertson that while reading the book I was thrilled to learn about what goes on behind-the scenes and I don’t think viewers realize just how lonely it can get for these girls. Robertson comments “Yeah, I don’t think you realize how long it actually takes. I was gone for 2 and half months and the only time I got to talk to my family is when I was home for the hometowns and everything that we talked about was on-camera, and that was the hardest part of the whole experience for me. I remember thinking ‘oh, I wonder what is going on in the world and not even knowing what was going on in the news because you can’t watch TV.”
She laughing adds, “After the show I having lunch with one of the producers I was friends with and I remember asking her if it was okay to use the bathroom and she was like ‘Courtney, you don’t have to ask permission anymore! I took me a week or so to realize that I had my freedom back and it was amazing”.
When asked if there was point in time where she regretted being on the show, Robertson responds “Definitely. I think after Ben and I broke up and we suffered a nasty public break-up and I moved on pretty quickly. I think if it would have worked out I wouldn’t have had that feeling, but then it started to go away and it was like the typical break-up. First I was sad and then I was mad and regretting it, but in the end I learned a lot from that situation and I try to focus on the positive. I always tell people that if I had to do it over again, of course I wouldn’t do it, knowing what I know now. You live and you learn.”
I also asked Robertson if she felt that the way the tabloids ran with their break-up story possibly made things worse for them or if it even would have played out the same way. She responds “It was not intentional for me to move on so quickly, I mean, I started dating Ari and that’s I was in the past, if I broke-up with someone, I began dating someone else and I truly didn’t realize people care so much. One stranger took a photo of us and sold it to TMZ and that’s what made it so nasty. Then Ben came out and said ‘Opps, I dodged a bullet’ and some other really hurtful things and then I reacted so I think if that wouldn’t have happened we probably could have been friends.”
We also spoke about the influence of social media and it’s instant gratification and people get caught doing things, even if they are innocent and things tend to get blown way out of proportion. Robertson comments “You can’t escape anything. For awhile, I was like ‘I just want to have fun, I was with him for eleven months and I ready to move on. I think maybe in a way I knew that I had to completely burn that bridge down so that I wouldn’t cross it again”.
I was curious if there is a question that she wishes someone would ask that they never have to which Robertson tells me with a laugh “I have been asked pretty much everything. Sometimes I get blindsided with some of the questions because I never did the interviews until I did my book tour and that was something that I had to learn on the fly. I am actually kind of shy, so that’s been really hard for me. I don’t like being on camera and I don’t like seeing myself.
And I don’t know if I’ve ever told anyone this or not, but I’ve never Googled myself or anything like that so … out of sight/out of mind.”
She goes on to say “I haven’t even read the book reviews on Amazon, but my friends have told me that they are mostly positive and that is what I learned from the whole fiasco, and it is kind of a blessing and curse, because when the show was airing and the media frenzy was happening, I wasn’t reading or watching the season, so in my mind I was like ‘it’s catastrophic and worse that it actually was’ but then I realized it was not that bad.”
These days it always seems like media is ready to move on to the next big thing. Robertson says “It surprising. I don’t get recognized in public anymore, the instant recognition is gone. Once in a while I get ‘oh, hey, I think we’ve met before’ and I kind of play along like, ‘yeah, maybe’, but people will just forget. It’s funny how people just forget about things.”
Robertson also revealed that to this day some journalists still attempt to get a reaction out of her, sometimes without even having read the book. She revealed that during a recent radio press tour, one journalist, who actually had read the book literally called her a butt hole! Can you imagine a grown woman calling someone a butt hole? The woman claimed that she had read the book when Robertson asked and nastily told her ‘You reap what you sow” …Ouch!
Robertson also tells us that she has been writing a lot and that she is currently at work on a second book. She says “I am working on getting back to normal life. I’ve been going on some commercial auditions and that’s about it. Dating, nobody seriously right now, and that is going to be part of the next step and the next chapter.”
When asked about the premise for the next book, Robertson tells me “It is still pretty early on, but just basically real life stories and real life stuff picking up where the first book left off.”
I am definitely excited to see what other stories Robertson has to share! Her first book “I Didn’t Come Here To Make Friends” is available online and at book retailers nationwide. And for the record, we can say she is most definitely not a butt hole!
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