How Do You Identify Yourself At Work? At Home?
We have all done it to ourselves. We are the ones who ask each other, shortly after meeting, “What do you do?” From early on, we are trained to look outside of our magnificently created beings to find our ‘identity’. It is as if we are taught that we are not enough in this life.
My late husband was no exception. He was conditioned to believe that he couldn’t live away from home. He was told that the person he was created to be was broken because he didn’t fit the mold others tried to put him into. As a youth, he wasn’t truly valued. This always amazes me. John was a brilliant man. He was literally the best in the world at what he did. But because it didn’t fit the family expectations, he was made wrong for being himself. This was no way to live.
John compensated for the shame he felt. He looked for ways to excel. He became a finance guy. He worked to achieve and transcend. When we were first married, he studied and took exams for months and years to achieve certifications in his field. I remember those days fondly, but they were hard! We worked, and he studied. There wasn’t much time for us. John had plans to excel and reach the goals he set for himself. He was ambitious. This meant working hard, studying, moving, advancing in a department, and switching departments to improve our lives.
My husband was a gentle giant. From the outset of our marriage, he started bettering himself through courses and certifications that ultimately led him to be the best in his field. As soon as he knew he wanted to marry me <swoon,> he took very seriously that he wanted to provide for our children and me. He took the old saying that if a man didn’t provide for his family, he was worse than an infidel. Unfortunately, this was tied to his identity. As his widow, I can promise you he was much more than his job.
John held his emotions in. He internalized what bothered him. His work became stressful over the years. He struggled when he wasn’t allowed to advance because of politics in a corporation; he very much tied himself to performance reports and to what his managers thought of him. He struggled with unplugging from the job when at home. He thought about clients and their well-being at night and spoke of them to me.
Through job changes and moves in his career, he intimately tied his manhood with his intelligence and career. He was so much more.
If we each don’t value this life we have been given and treat it accordingly, life will become stressful, mundane, and shortened. Life is a gift, we are gifts to this world. We each have been created to be loved and to love. It is a must to love and value ourselves properly – spirit, mind, and body, to be able to overflow to others the love this planet is meant to have. When we don’t love the gift of this life, when we let other things fill our identity than what it is for which we are designed, we become empty wells. We won’t have much left to give. We become resentful loving, and giving, and we become unwell.
Set Your Priorities
What to do? How does one balance LIFE and work? PRIORITIES! Set FIRST THINGS first. Connecting to this life’s gift and knowing we are created for MORE. KNOW that we are needing regular care physically, spiritually, and emotionally. We must address our whole beings to be good for anyone. TIME BLOCKING. Being sure to schedule self-care is crucial to thriving. I have helped many Private Community Members know how to create a day that helps them be well and thrive through a proprietary path that gets results!
You are NOT Your Job!
Be Connected. You Are Not Alone.
ASK for HELP when you need it. No person is an island; we must find others who can use their gifts and talents to help us because it’s a win-win!
Giving is better than receiving, so you help someone give when you ask for help. Be CONNECTED. Make friends and have an inner circle so that you have eyes on you other than YOU! Some trusted people in your life can see things that you cannot see. FORGIVE yourself for the past and leave it in its place. What do you want for your FUTURE? Get detailed and picture it. What does it feel like for you to get there? Allow yourself to feel that and watch your brain rewire and help you do the things to get to that place!
Now, in all your FULLNESS, GIVE to others and LOVE them well. This life is fleeting. I KNOW IT! We don’t want to live a life of regret that we gave our best selves to our job and not to people that we care for and love. We must raise the bar and LOVE in all we do. We must recognize that we are created for MORE.
We are designed to excel and contribute.
Be lifted and lift others.
Be connected and connect others.
Your job is a provision, and there are always other jobs, seasons, and places to work. Your finances are not worth your being, not worth your health, not worth your emotional downfall, and certainly not worth leaving behind loved ones.
YOU are IMPORTANT to others.
YOU are VALUED.
YOU are LOVED.
YOU are WANTED.
YOU are WORTHY of a LIFE where you KNOW your IDENTITY is not your JOB.